Most of us are trying to either prevent ourselves from getting hurt or heal ourselves from being hurt. We fear the disappointment and pain of what might happen in failure and we sometimes just don’t want to deal with the transformation it takes to succeed or recover. Anything worth fighting for will always come with a risk because what makes something worthy is its ability to withstand time and/or propel the value of it. I’ve been let down so many times by those closest to me. I have been let down by myself. Life has hurt me and there have been many times when God has let my expectation down. It’s not always easy seeing things through the lens of faith or forgiveness but when we aren’t afraid of getting hurt we will expand the borders of our hope and our capacity to love, anything, increases. When the risk is outweighed by the opportunity we will experience true reward; the blessing of giving not just the satisfaction of receiving. I know we feel we deserve much and I agree we are worth it but true value is according to what we can add not just subtract. When was the last time you’ve totally given to a dream, person, idea, plan, intimate relationship or spiritual relationship? When was the last time you’ve truly given to yourself? AND HAVE YOU SUSTAINED THAT PURSUIT?! Maybe you think life has quit but really its just waiting for YOU TO COMMIT.
AREAS TO EVALUATE YOUR COMMITMENT:
– Others: Spouse, partner, kids, family, Colleagues, Community, friends, ENEMIES
– Growth and Responsibility
A STOP ON COMMITMENT:
Per person I’m sure the reasons fluctuate but I find we stop from committing because: We don’t know how, fear of failure/disappointment, we don’t want to waste time, we judge ourselves/others too harshly, we seek perfection before we embrace the process, we are too self-focused and we have small vision and therefore can’t see a big enough picture to even arrive anywhere else other than where we already are. Those are all excuses and we self-sabotage the potential of our desires when we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to FIRST commit.
I’m sure most of us have seen the struggle life can bear and therefore commitment may not be something we’ve seen. Some are raised in situations where things really didn’t work out: marriages failed, dreams were derailed, that prayer in faith didn’t keep them alive and/or simply faith has lost its zeal. Others have never needed to commit to receive and some others feel it won’t make a difference anyway. One thing I’ve learned is that commitment isn’t about perfect results but the perfecting of the heart that can only come through the test of surrender and expanding pursuit of more. Don’t limit the success of commitment to the destination because more times than not its what it takes to get there that validates it anything at all. Make EACH STEP the reward of commitment and you’ll keep a healthy balance of gratitude for how far you’ve come with the hunger for where you’re still going. Commitment fills the space between where you are and where you want to be, but you’ll never get there if you remove the bridge that’s for you to walk over; Stopping never got anyone anywhere.
Gratitude builds a ladder of commitment. The greatest moments in life aren’t the ones we hope for but the ones we live for. It’s not when; it’s now. Gratitude says I’m thankful for what I have, this moment and I’m willing to see value in what it can become more than I judge it for what it’s not or fear what it might endure. What gives something platform is the work it takes to hold it up not just the height it appears to be. A hollow wall that stretches across the sea will crash with each wave but one firm from the inside out will divide and conquer. Gratitude is the strength of everything. I fear we have lost our ability to commit because we’ve lost our ability to truly love anything at all. Love was never meant to be about what one could gain but what one could give. Love was never meant to be self-seeking but in seeking to love others wholeness is required and by default self comes first and doesn’t mind finishing last. Appreciating all of life, even what we cannot control, gives us authority over it and therefore allows us to create in it. Most problems are opportunities to create something better, not a demise of what was running stale anyways. Maybe if you were more grateful for who and/or what you CURRENTLY have you could realize you already have the deposit for something awesome. What we wish for will always require the investment of what we have because we can’t grab and hold at the same time. Gratitude is another form of willingness. Letting go of old ideas and expectations allows disappointment to gain a new perspective; If you can’t see the potential for a house in one brick you’ll never build and gratitude gives each brick value. It is the investment of gratitude that turns a brick into a house and a house into a home. You’re right to want more but its found in appreciating more not just having it.
THE END THE BEGINNING
Being hurt isn’t easy but its also not the end. Don’t let the possibility of pain deflect your commitment. Everything you go through prepares you if you let it and everything you’re trying to avoid will only limit you because most dead ends are actually detours. Making the choice to commit isn’t limited to where you’ll arrive but what can become. In maturity, you’ll see that you still gained because you grew. That relationship didn’t work out but you learned so much about love and yourself. In fact, the pain you feel is a true indicator that you loved. The heartbreak from getting laid off or a goal/business collapsing proves you had the guts to try and your first choice university rejecting you doesn’t mean you reject you or that your education is useless if anything it just means they missed out on something you both could’ve discovered together. What am I saying? Why am I saying this? Whats the point if it can fail? … if you’re alive today the best is yet to come because the purpose you carry is bigger than any one moment. The legacy of your life is the true glory of it and the testimony of saying through it all we kept living is what births the next generation and gives them strength to finish what we may not. We should never be able to arrive because we should have so many dreams that it takes generations to see them through; that’s a life worth living. It is life’s EXPERIENCES that makes it, not the things that bring them. Placing more value in the experience removes the fear of what we may lose or gain and builds a trust that it’s all working out and can work out for good regardless. It’s our heart posture that sails the winds of life. Even if we don’t know how to commit we can learn in good old fashion TRYING. And even If we haven’t seen healthy examples let us be the first. Why? because our willingness is the only thing that can cause us to arrive. If we lose that we lose the opportunity of love and the ability to dream. Let your commitment see the tree in the seed. The only thing that can stop you from committing is you. The pain hurts and the risk is scary but both are also necessary because otherwise you’d never know how strong you were and you’d never know that true love really does last forever. Don’t be the reason you never experience love. Don’t be the reason you never discover you can overcome.
Finish the year strong, COMMIT!